The Banana Test

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals; a lion, a chimpanzee, a giraffe, and a squirrel, who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully...try and answer within 30 seconds. Got your answer? Now scroll down to see the analysis.









If your answer is:
Lion = you're not too bright.
Chimpanzee = you're a moron.
Giraffe = you're a complete idiot.
Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.

A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS!
Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax!

*from an email forward

Meat With A Face

If it wasn't for my husband and his "meatetarian" ways I would be a vegetarian just to avoid meat. I hate to eat anything that I think of as having a face and meat feels just disgusting raw (especially chicken). It is just creepy. I recall once going to a fancy restaurant in downtown Detroit with my dad and ordering chicken. I got half a small chicken. They literally just cut it down the middle cooked it up and plopped it on my plate. I forced myself to choke it down because it was expensive but I could just imagine its half a face staring at me in horror. That was probably more than 15 years ago and yet I still cringe when I think about it. Ugh. Certain meats don't bother me so much (as long as I don't have to handle them raw...icky) like hamburgers and hot dogs. They really don't resemble what they once were so it is easier for me to not think about them in that way. Too bad my husband is very much not into vegetarian meals because I could just imagine how much healthier we would be if we didn't have to eat all that nasty meat.

Plague

Our look on the bright side moment of the day.


With all the cases of the Swine Flu popping up and the media scaring people out of their minds lets just be happy that we are not in fact out of our minds. Back in 1518 in Strasbourg, France there was a very bazaar plague that took place during the month of July...the Dancing Plague. Yeah that's right, the Dancing Plague of 1518. It started with one women who began dancing and could not stop for DAYS, and soon there were more. 400 some people danced and danced for days some eventually dying of heart attack, stroke or exhaustion. The best explanation for why this happened was ergot, a mold that grows on rye. It would give a person who consumed it convulsions and delusions.

All I have to say is that I am very glad that I don't have to worry about that appearing on my tombstone.

"Melinda S. - wife - mother - died of the Dancing Plague - Ole'"

*Thanks to Scott for use of the photo.

Z is for Zzzz

You know when you are not yet a parent and people talk about how exhausting it is to have kids you never believe them. You are certain that you will handle it just fine.

HA!

Those typical days where you feel so tired because you have been going none stop busy all day long aren't so bad at all. It is the nights when you finally fall asleep at 11pm or midnight after trying hopelessly to get everything you need to get done completed, only to have your kid get up at 3:30am and refuse to stay asleep for more than 20 minutes at a time the rest of the night. That is the exhaustion parents speak of and oh man is it as bad as they all say it is. It is the kind of exhausted that makes you accidentally put your kids pants on his head and his diaper on backwards while you end up at work in your pajamas.

(Not that I have ever done that but I could totally see it happening.)

So all you childless folks out there enjoy your sleep while you can! It is true!!! You will never get a good nights sleep ever again once you have kids!

...Zzzz

Do Right

"You cannot do right in one department of life while occupied doing wrong in another department. Life is one indivisible whole." - Gandhi

Y is for Yellowish-Green

I have yet another sinus infection. Actually, it is probably one of the worst sinus infections I have ever had in my life as far as feeling miserable. It started with a simple virus I caught from Ian a week and some odd days ago. Since every single time I get sick in any way I get a sinus infection, boom I have the sinus infection of all sinus infections. This lovely go around my symptoms include some of the worst sinus pressure and pain of my life (and I have had a LOT of sinus infections to compare this to) and quantities of yellow and green mucus that would make your head spin. I know my head feels like it is spinning. What I don't understand is how a person (me) could possibly hold that much mucus in her head? Where does it all fit? How can I blow my nose into 6 tissues in a row, totally soaking each through, and still have more that wants to come out? I guess I should just be thankful that I don't have the Swine Flu, but I am not that positive of a person. I just want the sinus pressure to GO AWAY and to not need a box of tissues within arms reach of every place I could possibly be throughout the day.

I really, really hope that Ian doesn't inherit my sinus issues. Ugh...

I won a book!

One of my favorite bloggers was giving away a copy of another one of my favorite bloggers books, and I won it! Thank you Rebecca of Girl's Gone Child, and can't wait to read Christine Coppa's memoir Rattled.

I highly recommend both of these wonderful ladies blogs and Rebecca's book, Rockabye: From Wild to Child. Check them out.

X is for X-treamly Hard to Find an X-word

I actually looked through a dictionary trying to pick an X word to blog about. Seriously this letter sucks and I decided that it isn't worth my time trying to pick a word that starts with x to blog about. So instead I am going to blog about a topic that has an x in it...

Borax.

I have been doing more reading on making up home made cleaners and lots of the things I have come across say that borax is the thing to use to make all purpose cleaners, and even your own laundry soap. The same literature also warns that borax and boric acid are toxic to children/pets and should be handled with care. This has me saying to myself, "Self, how is it that it is safer and more green to use home made cleaners like borax (which is toxic) than using some easy store bought cleaner?" I think that the answer is clear...use the damn store bought "green" cleaner and be done with it. Easy trumps, better in my book any day. Sorry Earth.

Names

I read an editorial today on names and how a "bad" name can affect your ability to get a job. I thought it was very interesting that the author changed her ethnic name and got a job offer right away. I read through the comments and another person said that she legally changed her name because it caused her so much trouble. Reading this editorial made me not feel so bad for thinking so hard about what to name my son. We tossed around names during the entire pregnancy and didn't even pick THE ONE until he was 12 hours old. It really does matter that a persons name sounds professional, and doesn't have goofy or negative associations. I feel bad for the kids that get screwed up names: like that actress that named her kid Apple...seriously the kid is going to have to be an actress or a stripper because no one would elect her senator or publish her book on quantum physics because of her name. I see so many students names at work and think what where their parents thinking? These poor kids have to live with and deal with the consequences of their parents uniqueness. Every child is unique naturally...they don't need bazaar names to prove it.

W is for Whining

Here is my list of grievances, in no particular order...and yes I would like a little cheese to go with my whine. I sharp cheddar would be lovely...thanks.

1. That is just haven't won the lotto already. I keep making my husband buy tickets but we never win squat. It isn't like I want the big money, just some money to pay off a credit card or two. I really don't think it is that much to ask the universe for. I am a nice person (mostly) and I do the right thing (almost every time) so I think that it is time for my karma to kick in already.

2. My son is sick. Nothing serious, thankfully, but still it isn't fair none the less. I hate being helpless and unable to make him feel better. I will be happy when he is back to being his bubbly, smiling self.

3. I wish that my husband would do more around the house without the inevitable nagging. I feel bad that he isn't doing more to help out. I feel bad for being the "bad" wife and being a nag to get him to help out. I feel bad that I am overwhelmed and can't seem to get it all done myself because I feel like I should be able to. The truth is I can't get it all done, and it drives me crazy that I have no time to get the general chores done, let alone do something I want to do (like watch an episode of NCIS that I missed two weeks ago).

4. It sucks that I don't relate to the people that I work with. I am a decade (or two in some cases) younger than pretty much everyone else in my office. So as you can pretty much imagine I pretty much keep to myself (and blog to fill the time when I am caught up on work.) There are two people in the building my age...sadly I don't get to speak with them much. Hopefully in the (near) future some more folk in my generation will start working here, that or I could miraculously find another job, or even better win the lotto and get to stay home with my son.

5. The seasons are changing and that means two things: I am going to get a sinus infections (it is inevitable and it sucks) and I need to buy new spring/summer clothes. I was pregnant last summer and I have lost weight from where I was the summer before that so I have pretty much no warm weather wear. I was looking in my closet the other day and I have, count them, 3 short sleeve shirts! Only 3!!! I have NO capri pants and NO shorts...and I am not even sure my old sandals will still fit because feet shrink when you loose weight too. Not that I am complaining about losing the weight, I couldn't be happier about that, but it is still tough to have to start from scratch with your wardrobe especially when you just spent pretty much your whole savings on carpet and a new vacuum. Boo.

6. My house is a mess. It still isn't put back together fully from when we got the carpet installed and it drives me crazy to feel like we are in limbo still. I have a laundry list of things that need to be done or moved, and no time to get it done.

7. I have NO sick time left. My leave stores were used up on my maternity leave and since then every time I earn more time I have to use it because Ian is not feeling well and cannot go to day care. We don't have anyone I trust to watch Ian for the day when he can't go to day care, so I have to take time to do it myself. Oh well...at least I have a job and it is flexible enough to allow me to be off to tend to my son at all.

I think that is enough complaining for one day. One of my faults is to see the down side, so I must try to not cling to it. So I am going to work on paying down debt so I don't need that lotto winnings, assign my husband some jobs around the house, look for clearance clothes to fill our my wardrobe, and make up a master plan to prioritize what needs to be done around the house. I can control the things within my means and the rest I need to work on letting go of.

"It is a fault to cling to a fault." Confucius

V is for Vacuum

We got a Dyson DC25 and I LOVE it! It is the one with the ball and it works like a dream. It feels weightless because it moves about so easily and it picks up dog hair like nobody's business. My favorite feature is the way you empty the bin. You remove the collection bin hold it over the trash can (or slightly inside of trash can to avoid dust) and press the button. It opens from the bottom and all the mess drops out. Who knew vacuuming could be fun?

Cookies

Be Prepared

From the Fail Blog a possible win...the zombie preparedness kit, because you never know when you might have to blow a zombie's head off. I personally think they should have added a cricket bat like from Shaun of the Dead.

Shaun: If you get cornered...
[hits himself on head with cricket bat]
Shaun: ...bash 'em in the head, that seems to work. Ow.

Google Reader

This week I gave Google Reader a try. I have to say, What the hell was I thinking?! I could have been using Google Reader all along!!! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! It is a mini miracle to help me keep tabs on all the many blogs I like to read. It show when there is a new post I haven't read yet, and lets me mark posts as read so I don't waste time looking to see if they posted something new. I am in love!

U is for Usual Pets

If I ever move to a house with some land I want to get a pet alpaca or two. I think they are so adorable, and their fibers (wool) is very valuable, soft, and luxurious. You can sell the fibers so the alpacas can earn their keep. Yeah they spit but it isn't like my alpaca would live in the house or anything. I just think they would be cute roaming around the property, and not to mention a good investment.

Quote 4/7/09

"When one eye is fixed upon your destination, there is only one eye left with which to find the way." - Anonymous

Amazing, Beautiful World

This pictures came from a forwarded email I received this morning from my mother. I picked out my favorite images to post here because they are so amazing and beautiful. This world we live in sure is something...

T is for Traveling

This weekend we went away with the baby and the dog. It was just a trip to my parents for an overnight stay but with the amount of stuff that we hauled with us you would have thought we were staying for a week. It really boggles the mind how much stuff one needs for a baby (and for a dog for that matter.) I can't imagine jumping up for a spontaneous trip...it takes too much planning to pack for just an overnight.

What I pack for an overnight trip for each of my "kids":

Mason: litter box, litter, bowls, food (in pre-measured baggies), treats, poop pick up bags, blanket (he rides better in the car on his own blanket), toys.

Ian: 4 outfits, 2 PJs, socks, 6 burp cloths, 4 bibs, bottle base, bottle liners, all the nipples and rings we own, 3 spoons, 3 jars baby food, gallon of water, formula, diapers, wipes, toys, diaper bag stuffed with various medicine, ointments and powder (just in case).

When I got home all I had left that was unused was a few dog treats, 2 of Ian's outfits and 1 PJ, 2 burp cloths, 3 diapers, some bottle liners, and what was left of the gallon of water...and that was just over night.

HOW WOULD I PACK FOR A WHOLE WEEK AWAY???

We want to take Ian camping using my in-law's trailer this summer. I am nervous about packing enough stuff to make it through the trip. That will take some careful organization and preparation to manage...not to mention an awful lot of space.

"When you go the road is rough; when you return, smooth." - Thai proverb

Moment of Zen

"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." - Confucius

S is for Spit-up

I will never wear clean clothes again!

Going on a Roadtrip Tomorrow

Ugh!

Microwaved popcorn makes my eyes burn and gives me a headache. On days like today when someone in my office scorches a bag of popcorn and the stench lingers around the office, making me feel sick, I understand why people go "postal."

Haiku Challange

I challenge you my reader to write a Haiku. What is a haiku you ask? Well, my dear reader, it is a form of Japanese poetry that has three sort little lines: the first line has 5 syllables, the second line has 7 syllables and the third has 5 syllables. No rhyming is needed. Now go!

I sit in silence
Nothing to do, this spring day
My work is all done

(I wish. My work at work is done; too bad I can't go home and tackle some of what is to be done there. It really is maddening to be stuck at work with nothing to do when there is so much to do at home.)

And one more for good measure just so you get the drift...this one rhymes.

Here comes Easter day
The bunny is on his way
Soon it will be May

Leave me comments with your Haiku, and there just might be a prize in it for you. (Haha! I rhymed again.) But seriously, if people actually leave me with some haiku to pick from I will award a prize to one poet at random. The prize will be awarded at the time of my choosing, and I will post the winner and what lovely trinket I have decided to gift to them for playing along. Good luck.

R is for Religon

"I accept all the religions of the past, and I worship God with them all. I leave my heart open to those of the future." - Swami Vivekananda

"I came to the conclusion long ago...that all religions were true, and also, that all had some error in them; and whilst I hold but my own, I should hold others as dear. " - Mahatma Gandhi

Religion is one of those topics that is usually either taboo or something that makes people feel the need for debate. I personally think that all religions are in some way correct. They are a set of values, rules if you will, to which we gauge our behavior and thoughts against to determine if we are on the "right" path. Religion gives us a moral code so that we can co-exist together without doing all manor of horrible things to each other. While bad things still happen, just imagine if religion did not exist. Our world would be in chaos.

While I attended Oakland University I was lucky enough to enroll in a class called the Psychology of Religion. In it we studied the psychological needs and psychological affects of religion in our lives. It was one of only two classes in my whole college career that I read the book picked by the professor from cover to cover. I find religion quite fascinating from the aspect of what it does for people, rather than which religious views are "correct." Just thinking back to the history of our world, religion has been a part of every documented society. From what I have read online there is a great deal of disagreement regarding what is considered the first known religion. Many believe that it is just a form of Animism, which is the belief that souls or spirits exist in not only humans and animals but also inanimate natural objects like rocks and phenomenon like lightning, as well as in abstract concepts like names. This gave everything consciousness, giving those early societies motivation to have values and morals. It is human nature to want to see things like ourselves and we don't want to harm ourselves. Eventually this idea morphs through to the religions of the world that we know today.

It all boils down to having a set of values and morals by which we lead our lives, so every religion has merit and I sort of relate a little to every religion and yet none of them. Since I have this odd overview of religion I find it very hard to put myself in to a category of any single religion. Where do I fit? It is impossible, so I often must sit out on discussions of religion though I enjoy this topic. Good thing I enjoy observing or it would be maddening not to express my point of view on this topic. No one would understand my beliefs because it would go against how they believe.

Don't get my wrong. While I don't believe in God the same way others do, I do very much believe in a creative force or energy that makes up the universe. There has to be something, some force for lack of a better word, that makes all existence exist. Science can show us evolution, but it doesn't account for the catalyst that started the process of changing that primordial ooze into life. There has to be something, I do believe in that.

"All that we are in the result of what we have thought." - Buddha

Q is for Questions

"One who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; one who does not ask a question remains a fool forever." - Chinese proverb

I use to work with a women who would preface her questions with a statement like "I know I'm stupid..." or "This is a stupid question..." and it would bother me to no end. I personally do not believe that any question is stupid, and to not know the answer is not stupidity. It is simply a chance to learn something new.

Now that I have a son I feel like I should be studying up on all the basic questions of the world. Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Where does the sun go at night? Why can't I play in the street? Why is that person brown? What makes a rainbow? Where to babies come from? Who is God? When you think about it, kids have SO MUCH to learn. They start knowing nothing but what instinct tells them that they need; breast milk, warmth, love. We have to teach them everything. That is a pretty heavy thing to consider as a parent. I am responsible for shaping everything this child will know, but I myself do not know everything!

Bring on the questions...

P is for Penguins

P is for Penguins because it is just about the cutest picture EVER! Check out Cute Overload for more cuteness daily.

O is for Observations

"By watching and listening we learn infinitely more than we do from any books. Books are necessary, but watching and listening sharpen your senses." - Krishnamurti

I love to people watch. It is one of my most favorite of past times. Out shopping, at the park, hockey games, or just in the office at work...it is like entertainment everywhere I go.

Somethings I have heard and/or seen recently that have amused me:

At Meijer while shopping for groceries I saw a boy shopping who looked like he was about 12 years old, dressed like his skateboard was parked outside on a half pipe. His cart was full of Kid Cuisine frozen meals, chips, and generally just junk food. I felt really bad for the kid. Why was he alone shopping? Do his parents feed him? Where did he get the money for all that junk food? I guess I will never know but at least her would have a few rounded meals with the frozen dinners.

At the office I overheard one of our students talking about being old. She said something to the effect of how gross it was to get old, "like when your 30." There was such disgust in her tone and it was clear that she thought thirty was equivalent to being the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt. I felt like jumping up and saying "Hey now! I'm 30 and I am NOT gross!" I, of course, kept it to myself so I wouldn't get caught listening or get a dirty look as if I was about to keel over dead from age. I just laugh about it now...because she is 21 and 30 is just around the corner for her. BUHAHAHAHA, welcome to gross honey!

When I use to have the luxury of going to Saginaw Spirit games with Chris we would occasionally have seats in a certain section of the upper bowl in the arena. A woman, who clearly had season tickets in said section, was always screaming and cursing out the team. It was usually just random things that often did not make any sense. I was certain that she was just screaming for the sake of hearing her own voice. She reminded me of the guy at the end of Robin Hood: Men in Tights that yells to the Abbot during the wedding ceremony "Hey Abbot!" The Abbot then says "I hate that guy." under his breath. So I started calling her the Hey Abbot lady, and I requested we be in any section but that one when I was going along to a game.

And finally, there is the God is my Co-Pilot truck I have blogged about before. When will people realize that they cannot trust God to drive? He really isn't that good behind the wheel.

BFF

Need a Hobby

I need a new hobby. Or maybe I just need to rethink and old hobby. I would really like to start painting again. To start, I plan to paint a pair of abstract pieces for the living room wall above the couch. The bare wall needs a little something, and it would be far cheaper to make said something than to buy art. So the next time it is in the budget I am going to buy some paint, canvas, and a few new brushes and get to work. Hopefully I can come up with something that will not look ridiculous in my house.

I would also love to buy a sewing machine and learn to sew. Specifically I would like to make some curtains for my house. We have such oddly shaped windows, that we will pretty much need custom made curtains anyways, so I might as well learn to make them myself. The only trouble is sewing machines are expensive and I can't afford one right now. I guess I will have to go curtain-less a little longer.