Clementine

Now that I am a mom to a little baby I find myself singing to him to calm him down. Ian actually likes it, though I don't know why anyone would like my singing. I don't know any children's songs so I have been making them up but they pretty much suck. So I started looking up some songs online. I printed them out and have been trying to learn some of them to sing to Ian. While singing some of the classic songs I found to Ian I noticed a disturbing trend...these songs are either disturbing or they make zero sense. My first example is the song Clementine. I found that there are many versions of this song but the one that I printed goes as follows.

In a cavern, in a canyon
Excavating for a mine
Lived a miner forty-niner
And his daughter, Clementine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Light she was and like a fairy
And her shoes were number nine
Herring boxes without topses
Sandals were for Clementine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Drove her ducklings to the water
Every morning just at nine
Hit her foot against a splinter
Fell into the foaming brine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Ruby lips above the water
Blowing bubbles soft and fine
But alas, I was no swimmer
So I lost my Clementine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Then the miner, forty-niner
Soon began to peak and pine
Thought he oughta join his daughter
Now he’s with his Clementine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

There’s a churchyard on the hillside
Where the flowers grow and twine
There grow roses, ‘mongst the posies
Fertilized by Clementine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

In my dreams she still doth haunt me
Robed in garlands soaked in brine
Though in life I used to hug her
Now she’s dead, I draw the line

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Now you scouts may learn the moral
Of this little tale of mine
Artificial respiration
Would have saved my Clementine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

How I missed her, how I missed her
How I missed my Clementine
Till I kissed her little sister
And forgot my Clementine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

In summary Clementine drowns, her father kills himself, there is reference to her rotting, she is haunting her lover who is now kissing her sister! WE SING THIS CRAP TO OUR IMPRESSIONABLE CHILDREN??? What the hell! Sadly the rhythm is one that Ian responds to by going to sleep by the end of the song so I sing the stupid thing but I have to say that I don't like it.

This disturbing trend continues to other songs. "Little Bo Peep" loses her sheep and when she finds them they are skinned leaving their tails behind them hung on a tree to dry! "I Found a Peanut" is the story of a kid who ate a peanut and dies but heaven and hell won't take her. Then there are songs that make no sense what-so-ever. "Head and Shoulders" is just naming body parts. "Sing a Song of Sixpence" is about a blackbird pie, and a blackbird snaps off the maids nose! "This Old Man" plays knick-knack paddywhack...and I don't even what to know what that is (ugh). I am beginning to think that I wasn't so crazy to start with just making up songs to sing Ian on the fly because the proper songs I am finding are just NUTS!